It's official. The aftermath of the not-quite-annual LGT retreat has left me with one, possibly two fractured toes. Rock! Now I get to check "sad broken piggies" off my life list of foot injuries. One day I may finally make it to full trauma-induced amputation. It's important to have goals.
The story of how the injury actually occurred is sadly mundane, as it involved me walking upright like a proper bipedal, and then not being so upright like some common gastropod. My life being lackluster enough as it is, I've taken to embellishing the truth at any given opportunity, my favorite spin so far being a rather elaborate tale involving nine martinis, a midget and a badley misjudged wager involving a jai alai mitt.
The diagnosis finally came from the the GP doctor at my company's on-site clinic (yes, my company has an on-site clinic...convenient and kind of frightening). And does anyone know what one can do for a fractured metatarsal? Anyone? Anyone?
If you guessed "absolutely nothing", then you are today's big winner. Just send a SASE to collect your grand prize, an exclusive copy of the latest addition to the LGT make-up morgue.
I'll even autograph it for you...
with my toes.
For additional shipping and handling, you can also get a limited addition copy of Saitou the Foot-Fetish-Kitteh showing off his "healing touch":
Have I officially grossed everyone out? I imagine that this whole post made Peep Julie's skin crawl. *tee hee* Sorry, Juju.
2 comments:
Here I thought I was going to be reading a perfectly respectable blog post, only to find nothing more than kitty-kitty-foot-pr8n. My stars.
Having channeled your mother, I am authorized the following comment:
ERIN DIANNE!! How does one break two toes in the commission of a fun retreat??
Breaking toes require an accident while doing work, which, based on the condition of your room for 18 years, eliminates that possibility.
Your Father (via spiritual channel)
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