Who Thinks This Shit Up?

Some of these things are so unbelievably stupid. Which means, of course, I have to check them out:


Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site


The best part of this quizwidget is the accompanying description in painstakingly gruesome detail:

"In the first 30 seconds any fluid on the surface of your body would begin to boil due to lack of ambient pressure, this includes the saliva on your tongue and the moisture in your eyes. Your eardrums would most likely burst due to the pressure in your body trying to equalize with the vacuum outside. Unlike what some science fiction films have suggested, your body would not explode.

After the first 15 seconds you would lose consciousness. If you held your breath you could potentially stay alive longer but you risk pulmonary trauma. If you didn't hold your breath you'd pass out sooner, but your lungs might have a better chance of avoiding permanent damage.

The pressure in your veins would rise until your heart no longer had the capacity to pump blood, at which point you'd die."

Yummers. I'd hope I'd at least get to lose my heart to a starship trooper before President Roslin airlocked me (even if the former is a teensy bit gay). And contrary to what Ka D'argo preaches, it's always better to inhale upon reentry. It's not like it's going to make that much of a difference, because you'll freeze your tits off before your heart goes *poof*...unless you have the dumb luck of Arthur Dent.

...And this little piggie falled down, went boom

And now, a continuation of Flen Flyys "Adventures in Podiacal Misfortune":

It's official. The aftermath of the not-quite-annual LGT retreat has left me with one, possibly two fractured toes. Rock! Now I get to check "sad broken piggies" off my life list of foot injuries. One day I may finally make it to full trauma-induced amputation. It's important to have goals.

The story of how the injury actually occurred is sadly mundane, as it involved me walking upright like a proper bipedal, and then not being so upright like some common gastropod. My life being lackluster enough as it is, I've taken to embellishing the truth at any given opportunity, my favorite spin so far being a rather elaborate tale involving nine martinis, a midget and a badley misjudged wager involving a jai alai mitt.

The diagnosis finally came from the the GP doctor at my company's on-site clinic (yes, my company has an on-site clinic...convenient and kind of frightening). And does anyone know what one can do for a fractured metatarsal? Anyone? Anyone?

If you guessed "absolutely nothing", then you are today's big winner. Just send a SASE to collect your grand prize, an exclusive copy of the latest addition to the LGT make-up morgue.

I'll even autograph it for you...

with my toes.

For additional shipping and handling, you can also get a limited addition copy of Saitou the Foot-Fetish-Kitteh showing off his "healing touch":


Have I officially grossed everyone out? I imagine that this whole post made Peep Julie's skin crawl. *tee hee* Sorry, Juju.

My Fandom is Warped on the Inside

Someone out there has too much time on his/her hands...and has a seriously sick and twisted soul. So it's not surprising that this shit had me laughing for fucking twenty minutes.

***Spoiler warning for Torchwood & Doctor Who finales. You've been warned, so don't start acting like a whiny titty baby about it later***



If this clip affirmed anything for me it is this: The word "intergalactic" as an adjective conveying the most extreme measurement of vice is sorely underused. I think I shall endeavor to incorporate it into my daily lexicon.